Opinion

October 14, 2022

Who are VCs kidding with their phony fund sizes?

VC fund size is not a pissing contest


David Cruz e Silva
An image of a rap verse on VC to the tune of Eminem's Lose Yourself. It reads: "Mayfair, London, sometime in early 2022 His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy Changed his hoodie for a suit, looking all fly and steady He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready To pitch his fund, no way he’s forgettin’ The VC Fund Model that he wrote down He starts his LP pitch, and the words come out in might It just flows, he’s on a roll, no one’s jokin’ now The clock runs out, time’s up, over, blaow LP snaps back to reality, ope there goes gravity Ope, he said there’s no lack of money He\’s so sure, that there’s no need for this VC fund! No He won’t have it, fund X, doing the same thing, just announced It’s X this size, it’s dope, and already closed GP’s so stagnant, he knows, when he goes back to this home office thinking it’s Back to the whiteboard again, just to realise Damn, fund X hasn’t even done first close and was all over the press."
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