“I’m not enjoying my job.”
This was the subject line of an email I wrote to the Foundrs community I’m part of back in 2019. I was confused and conflicted. On paper, I had everything I thought I wanted: impactful startup, reputable brand, revenue, investment, customers, a personal brand, keynotes, a book deal and we were growing. So why wasn’t I enjoying my job?
It’s because I was working for my company and it wasn’t working for me. I’d set out on a journey to create an impactful business that changed the world and one I loved building in the process. Along the way, I focused so much on our mission, our team and everything else, I lost myself in it all and fell out of love with my own startup
In the midst of the chaotic storm of running a growing startup it’s hard to think straight. There are many analogies for running a growing company, one being that you're building the plane whilst flying it. I like this one; the sense of chaos, emergency and possible death and destruction sounds about right.
Whilst you are deeply in it, it is very hard to see and think straight. Coaching, calls with mentors and walks around the block at lunch were just keeping me level, while my to-do list filled up with tasks I’d never done before and (often) never wanted to do in the first place, like fire or performance manage someone.
I look back now and I realise I was burnt out. Energetically, I was low: I’d put a lot in, was getting a lot out, but the way I was running meant that my fuel levels were low. I wasn’t on empty (I’d get there later during Covid), but the fuel light was flashing. Coaching sessions, the odd holiday and a supportive company culture meant that I was getting little trips to the founder petrol station, but nothing comprehensive enough for a full tank.
In my low energetic state, teetering on the edge of burnout and with a battered nervous system from a stressful life in London, I saw my holy grail — hire a CEO. I jumped to that solution, rather than deeply assess the state of my own mental health. I’m looking back with a different lens, watching this film play out, but if I could, I’d love to pause myself there.
Stress and anxiety doesn’t have to be the status quo
Many founders become stressed and anxious running their own companies. Working in a frenzy has become completely acceptable, and totally normal. Coaching, therapy and wellbeing becoming more normalised may have quieted that frenzy into a palpable vibration — but I find it really sad that so many founders, myself included, have spun ourselves into balls of stress building the companies we once loved.
Stress and anxiety for founders really don’t have to be the status quo. The best founders I meet, who are happy, sustainable and in it for the long haul, have not just found ways to “cope”; they’ve made their company work for them.
Make your company work for you
The biggest mistake I made was that I lost my power. I became a slave to my own company, our employees and the culture we created rather than me leading that and making it work for me. Yes, hire smarter than you. Yes, let go and delegate. Yes, empower. Blah blah blah. But we often forget the most absolutely critical part of any startup is the founder, or founding team. Founders are magic. Employees are replaceable. A founder is irreplaceable.
When founders burn out, or begin hating what they do, startups die.
Being selfish as a founder is the most sustainable thing to do for your company long term
That’s why every single founder out there must prioritise loving their day-to-day working situation. There will always be stuff you don’t want to do, but have to; that comes with responsibility, ownership and all the upside. But there’s a whole heap of other stuff — like working hours, flexibility, performance management, HR, finance — that too many founders do the way “they think it should be done” or hold onto and don’t let go of. This sounds selfish and it is, but my argument is that being selfish as a founder is the most sustainable thing to do for your company long term.
We forget, but an angel investor of ours always used to smile and say to me: “James, you can pretty much do what you want”. You can recapitalise, you can choose your role, choose your board, work 4 days, work 7, take a sabbatical, fire X, hire Y, do OKRs, don’t do OKRs, do 1:1s, don’t do 1:1s — you can mostly do whatever you want to do, it is your company.
I’m passionate about this. Passionate about founders keeping their flame burning, because mine died down and my company suffered as a result. I look back and the best thing I could have done for my startup, our team, customers and investors was to put myself first and design myself my dream job in a dream set of working conditions.
For me this might have looked like:
- Taking a sabbatical to get my energy back up and create distance to think straight
- Get good talent advice to hire, fire, let go and have people that worked around me and brought the best out of me
- Made up my own way of doing 1:1s, goals and leadership meetings that totally worked for me
- Been more mad and weird, not censor myself
- Had more fun, travelled more
- Worked with my cofounder more
- Paid myself more
The hard truth for me is that I’m not sure I knew what I wanted back then. I was young and whilst I had a great coach, I didn’t have a great founder coach or advisor around me to guide me on how I could make it all work for me, not just everyone else.
Founders, it’s your company; make it work for you and it’ll all work out better for everyone.